this life.

the full swing of farm life has been raging. i haven’t been to youth in two weeks.. haven’t even missed it honestly.

hands in the soil connects my heart with something unseen.

the falling grain and ohh the overloaded trucks… zach truly sorry.

attending to four beeping screens and keeping the cruise programmed to run right is frustrating.

trying to keep all my morning jobs and going straight to the field from there to run straight time till about 10:30 or 11:00 and then on to the hay field till 2:30 or 3:00 in the morning.

go to bed to crash for a few winks and then up to repeat.

this girl is exhausted but yeah happy.

the works been intense and grueling, full of sweat and grease and tears and yawns.

oh and to mention the mud this year.  sheesh i cannot even. sticking that S680 flex head and working for hours on getting it out… we’re not even gonna talk about that.

but yet this life feels something deep inside me.

this hands on farm life.

knowing you have a job to do and to work hard for the brand.

social life is paused.

bible school is not attended.

random pleasure trips are not happening.

harvest is top priority and i like it that way.

the musty smell of grain and the intoxicating smell of alfalfa bales.

the bright lights that burn deep into the night as the word sleeps peacefully on.

the air conditioners that crank the cool air onto flushed faces.

the midlands radios that crackle with stress and small moments of outrageous laughing. energy high from one cab and then exhausted grumpy voice on another end. the weirdest question that chirps from one voice to make the other drivers positive that it’s past bedtime. the moments your not sure the volumes worth having turned all the way up.

the holes in the field that crack the spines of this buggy driver.

heartbreaking news that pools in the eyes and runs to drip off the cheeks and land on clenched hands in the wheel.

the sun beams that spill across the curled hair and light across the blue eyes that are far far away, searching the hills beyond.

the tiny cab that can become a heaven when searching the depth of life.

the itch i feel for writing the last few days has been real.

the tears that fill my eyes and the sob that chokes my throat when i keep ticking off the weeks that i haven’t seen my older sister. the hollow gaunt eyes that look back at me in the selfies she sends where she’s sharing a kiss with her ex and now soon to be husband. the short hair that was hastily cut with his scissors hands choppily around her face. the drugs that they have been inhaling has began to show in every line of her face. but when my heart fails me i try to lean harder on the only rock i have.

sharing rechargers with the harvest crew.

the music going and the memories being made.

an icy redbull clamped in greasy hands at about 430 cools the brain and heightens the strength to gin out a few more hours.

the random text from my arkansas grandma that simply says “i love you jo.”

craning my head to worship the stars as night fades into early dawn.

going 80 in a 65, i do not highly recommend.

mozzarella sticks at midnight— ummm.

watching my dad‘s filthy green hat, come flying off, get stomped on, his fist pumping and his face consorted in laughter as i look on, nearly spitting fire.

basically breaking my foot; let’s just say i can literally not walk.

the feeling i got watching my little eight year old sister washing the patio windows with one hand and a bible school song book in the other and the song that burst forth from her pretty lips.

thattt simba.

the beautifully breath taking sunsets that have been painted with a powerful brush, splashing right across the sky between my windshield and steering wheel.

life without earbuds would be interesting.

that dad in my life that i wouldn’t be able to live without.

farm kids that write there farm name on the dust on the side of the equipment when they go down the road. love it. #jantzfarm yaaaa buddy.

the little bobbing yellow flowers that grow in wild beautiful clumps.

i gotta go unload the combine, so see ya all.

love this okie farm girl who’s busy worshipping this time of year. 🚜🌾♥️